1st XI Match Report – 13 August 2016

Graham Shorter This week’s unique rantings, ramblings and match analysis from Mr S Ghorter…

GCC v Blubberhouses

View Scorecard

Toss Fosters. Toss debate, as usual. Toss loss, required. Toss win, unexpected. Bowl please. Cockle outrage, catch grass protest registered. Richard Wilson premature Ive consignment to ground. I don’t believe it. I do. Rodney finally able to change bat grip. Svitzy. Fresh hips for dad’s army. Bed side table re-populated. Ginger removal shower scrub following wicket flurry. Absence fine (x3). 7-2 field, 10 over observation time. Kash Bahn. Brother of Cummings. Cummings bowls Ive a jaffa. Tall less fat Gat. Ball of the century, courtesy of Cummings. Kash Bummings. Proper teas. Team 1 fond of the open sandwich. James suffering from wind. Wind later died down – Cockle was right then. Bishop Fosters jealousy. Regular Frosty field tweakage. Shorter authority evaporating. Smith steroid overload. Long throws. Overthrows. Movember preparation, in August. Bum fluff. Bummings fluff. Wilks scaffolding threat. Easy like Sunday morning. Red wine sniffed out. Communal Goldsborough changing room. Campbell on a leash. Platts holding the lead, and the can. Cant’s go up, can’t go down. Post game Fosters. Win for the army.

1st XI Match Report – 30th July 2016

Graham Shorter This week’s unique rantings, ramblings and match analysis from Mr G Shorter…

 Ripley vs GCC

View Scorecard

Day of Cricket, the sport, the winner. Do it for the game. Nobby Stile (singular, just the one). Ultimate toss decision confusion palpable during warm up and match potential outcome discussion. Best option, lose the toss, one up to us, successful loss. First win of the day. Cockle in actual bat ownership discovery, rented version has run out runs, hand back to previous owner, thanks for the lend. Ive receives internal grief courtesy of Rodney run rate abuse and ball faced retirement claim. One team, one GB, ultimate spirit, grief to all, from us all. McPhee suicide watch during in form then massively out of form run accumulation scenario. Griller sick, Charlie Sheen and Rodney McPhee deplorable illness cascade. Cummings grasses tough chance then clings on to a couple of stunners, sort of. Cockle, I don’t believe it (or close to that). Overseas weight gain programme commenced courtesy of anorexia concern. Svitz. Cooee James hits line and length in wicket taking blitz. Pickles excessive dating, again, this is not a coincidence any more. Stu C responds with class to late call up – posh tash finger standing fine. Jackson late to social engagement due to late finish. Cockle errant Pateley Bridge direction of social travel. Smith age concern admission hounded by multiple interest (16, maybe 17). Short almost accidental six denied by slightly longer boundary this week. Empty bed side table leads to post match panic phone call. Shorter targets league table second half fall away – scooter awareness delay halts more immediate plunge. Do it for cricket. The winner. Cricket wins. One for the game. Mani beckoned for curry and brocket night. What next?, cricket, winning cricket.

1st XI Match Report – 16th July 2016

Graham Shorter This week’s unique rantings, ramblings and match analysis from Mr G Shorter…

 GCC vs Markington

View Scorecard

1st XI Match Report – 9th July 2016

Graham Shorter This week’s unique rantings, ramblings and match analysis from Mr G Shorter…

 Scotton vs Dacre Banks

View Scorecard

1st XI Match Report – 23rd May 2015

Graham Shorter This week’s unique rantings, ramblings and match analysis from Mr G Shorter…

 Pateley Bridge CC vs Goldsborough CC

View Scorecard

PBCC v GCC at PBCC with full PB. Goldsborough bowlers the feeders. Wagon wheel. Well batted Shaun. McPhee innings of two halves. Still don’t know why it’s S McPhee, we know his name. Nanny. James run in with local Hells Angels. James run in with local one way system post it campaign. Fines relocated 15 times fine. Self replenishing radka. Significant tractor time. Shorter loses non existent race. Tossage. Loss.

1st XI Match Report – 6th September 2014

Graham Shorter This week’s unique rantings, ramblings and match analysis from Mr G Shorter…

 Goldsborough CC vs Ouseburn

View Scorecard

After a full summer of cricket classics on sky sports it was about time nidderdale stepped up to the proverbial plate and delivered a classic recreation of its own. You would believe it if you’d have seen it – I was there though and I didn’t. Karachi the location, or goldsborough in this instance. Chasing a competitive total of 188 to win ouseburn crossed the line 8 down after a rain delay with no idea how many overs left and with no idea what shot to win. Well played ouseburn and good luck in the title run in. The game itself though, a brilliant advert for classic recreations, we need more of them. Bear with me and use your imagination. 

With the light fading, perhaps faded even, the protestations of skipper moin khan (shorter) went unheard by umpire bucknor (Brian kenny) and we had to get on with the game. Saqlain (karthik) had bowled a number of effective doosra’s but seam up seemed like the better option in the form of waqar (David James!) given the conditions. The ball was struck into the outfield a number of times without reaction from the un sighted inzamam (bickers, sorry mate) but still we ploughed on. Incitefull commentary from lord gower (Cockcroft) saw us through proceedings to the cheers of the travelling fans (ouseburn wags) and calm night vision batting from Hussain (rose) and Thorpe (Horton) saw the away side to the finishing line. With night lights flashing around the ground (John deere headlights) the victory runs were secured and the support staff punched the air (big Steve). A memorable win/loss and a good game of cricket.

Bon voyage Luke f and best wishes goldsborough alumni. The showers work now lads.

Nidderdale eye on England. Put the 20 20 side into the 50 over format. Please.

1st XI Match Report – 9th August 2014

Graham Shorter This week’s unique rantings, ramblings and match analysis from Mr G Shorter…

 Goldsborough CC vs Bishop Thornton

View Scorecard

Good toss to lose today, maybe not in the end. No sign of previous night’s monsoon credit to ground staff. Paddy, not the field, but on the field. When is he coming back on. Ethan glass confiscation. Morrell head butt sees Morrell head come off worse. Rejuvenated match report courtesy of Jamesy honey moon completion and overseas family appetite. Forge goes well against chums but chips one. Seconds back before Cockcroft in a59 race. Black eye. Ethan racial  slurs. Repeat of lurid litter escapade in crack den score box. Duff up, not Duncan’s eye, i mean up duff. Make scarce in uk. Jamesy captures lovely sunset courtesy of shorter cooeee lads. Multiple boundary catch close calls. New bar staff. Wedding ring error. Flat. Car key prank an all time classic. Fresh water in the pool, previous stagnant. Jackson in glove work contraception exchange. Point. Pints. A word for the bickers feed. Only show the right side to Wendy. Just to confirm it was of course bird excretion, left by all the birds there are in the box, and obviously we have all seen lots of birds in there, which judging by the litter, there must have been plenty of, unless of course there has been some double bag action.

Nidderdale eye on England

Always said cook was the man. Never in doubt. Chef. Mani mourning. Make the most of the tests because the next 6 months will be one day over load. Sixes but dull textbook format. Test matches are the ultimate – what ever happened to the world test championship?

1st XI Match Report – 2nd August 2014

Graham Shorter This week’s unique rantings, ramblings and match analysis from Mr G Shorter…

 Goldsborough CC vs Dacre Banks

Armageddon avoidance. It follows the river, it always does. Bad toss, Duncan’s fault obviously. Paddling pool escapade gives Jackson local nightmares. Absent friends, Sri Lanka, Maldives, Cornwall, Luton. Cockcroft playing threat. League petrified. Only game on? Rejuvenated match report courtesy of forge requirements for family awareness. No tantrum, it’s been a while. Stump distruction. Forge worldy to relieve pressure. Kartthik European tour. Frustrated second team observance. Bruce Springsteen. Google map fine leg journey likely to be mapped and noted. Tee off. Lost.

1st XI – Match Report – 28th June 2014

Graham ShorterThis week’s unique rantings, ramblings and match analysis from Mr G Shorter…

Goldsborough CC vs Spofforth

View Scorecard

3 loaf Saturday as it shall be forever known. Batting prayers. Cover the pitch, with 3 loaves of best of both. Bickers broken rib avoidance due to significant padding. Grumpy start to the day courtesy of tea confusion. Shorter one for the team in lydll appearance. Match made in heaven partnership adds 220 runs. James dropped catch dropped ball scenario. Mankad yard steal invites rule clarification. Every week it happens. PB support via bar and mankad outcry. Lamborghini bad place to park. Bickers pad rash. Goldsborough record? On site counsellor. Jamie posh shirt and posh creases. Gav hundred completes club hat trick. Win. Sweet wine. Table advancement.


Tool of the day

ceremony postponed for multiple centurion photo. James ball pain hurts real bad. However –  Can you bowl, hell yes.

Nidderdale eye on England

Captain cook, to stay or to go? Massive pressure. Is he the man for the long run? Concentrate on batting Alastair and let someone else worry about it. Prior?

Goldsborough Evening Team A – Match Report – 25th June 2014

Graham ShorterThis week’s unique rantings, ramblings and match analysis from Mr G Shorter…

Goldsborough CC vs. Studley Royal CC

View Scorecard

Toss loss. Momentous introduction of the bat strap concept leads to key milestone recollection from last 15 years. Saul hole. Memories of the sock – you talking to me? Memories of the Punjab. Cummings towel, tea. Modern day prison. Social courtesy. Sicky scorebook. Bat strap – centre please. Plasticine. Stray wires. Multiple personnel swap-over scenario courtesy of large confusion. Chafe. Ive fielding coaching. Cummings premeditation – of course it was. Win. Balls. Bat strap copyright – patent pending. Questionable gravy – rushed visit. 8 minute wait. Jackson finger inspection admission.